When we enter a relationship, we trust the other person has our best interests at heart. Sadly, many people can eventually find themselves in an abusive relationship. The abuse can be emotional, verbal, and physical.
Abusers come in all colours, shapes, and sizes and from all cultures and religious backgrounds. And while you may think someone capable of violence must have a criminal background, studies have found that 90% of abusers do not have criminal backgrounds.
DOMESTIC ABUSE RED FLAGS
Domestic abuse often starts with small “not right” behaviours, and it can be challenging to notice the signs at first. Especially if your partner says, “I love you,” and occasionally does nice things for you.
Here are some signs you may be in a dangerous situation:
JEALOUS TENDENCIES
Highly possessive partners are known to become violent. This is a red flag if they call you constantly and monitor your daily schedule.
CONTROLLING BEHAVIOURS
You are forced to ask permission to do things. They control the money in the relationship.
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
You are expected to look, be and act perfectly. His or her needs must be met happily and without a miss.
ISOLATION
Your partner tries to keep you away from friends and family. Those you do see are accused of being “troublemakers” and painting your partner in a bad light.
HYPERSENSITIVITY
Abusers are often hypersensitive and have their feelings easily hurt. This can instantly make them angry, so they lash out.
VERBAL ABUSE
You are constantly being criticized. They will call you names and say terrible things. In these moments, you sense they are getting pleasure from causing you pain.
ABUSE IS NEVER OKAY
To reiterate, abuse can start slowly, but things can escalate quickly. No form of abuse or disrespect in a relationship is ever okay. If you are a victim of domestic abuse, it is essential to get some help. Don’t hesitate to use the following website to find a nearby shelter: www.domesticshelters.org/en (includes Canadian and US shelters).
You may also want to speak to a Registered Psychotherapist who can help you navigate your feelings and develop coping strategies so you can get yourself well and move on from your current situation. Please feel free to contact me if you’d like to discuss treatment options.
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